The Mac Beard

Tired of your make looking wimpy and fruity? Are your PCs mocking it incessantly? Get the VictorSystems Ruggedized Mac Mini.

The problem with this thing is that it's a fashion statement. Not only does the military generally use PCs, but field computers are ruggedized laptops because they're actually portable and you're in the field. They don't use a multicomponent system that has lots of pieces for GI Joe to lose and also weighs twenty pounds without the printer. And of course underneath all that armor is a commercial grade circuit board which isn't particular shock resistant in the first place.