Thursday, January 03, 2008

Dishing the Dog Dirt

Scott Adams tells an amusing story about taking his in-laws dog for a walk without out adequate preparation for poop retrieval:
Later, when my in-laws returned, I told the story. Larry, a laid-back gentleman from Arkansas, turned to his wife Cheryl and drawled “Mollie double-bagged him.” Let me tell you, the only thing that could have made my experience worse was finding out my in-laws have a name for it.
My last family dog was a border collie mix named Rocky. Rocky had the uncanny ability to poop exactly halfway through his walk around the neighborhood. This coupled with his ability to poop one more time than you had bags meant you would have to walk the entire route again to pick up after him. This tendency explained why my Dad lost a fair bit a weight while the dog was still alive.

It struck me that this is a pretty amazing dog ability. After all, he doesn't really know where he's going or how far the walk will be when you set out. Yet he could still poop halfway through it. Maybe he could read your body language or something. Perhaps it was tied to the find-his-way-home sense that dogs supposedly have. I'm willing to bet that the dog who traveled across 9 states to get home did a lot of pooping in state number 5.

Rocky's other super ability was Twinkie detection, but this is understandable for a canine of his girth. Imagine this: you're inside the kitchen. All the house's doors and windows are shut. The dog is in the backyard on his doggie run. You crinkle a Twinkie wrapper and he turns and stares at you with his big Twinkie-lusting puppy dog eyes. And he could do it every time.

The cat doesn't seem to have any potty-related skills other than being naturally neat. I'm thankful for this as my aunt's cats do more crapping around their litter boxes than actually in them. And Milo can open bathroom doors. It's kind of funny that my wife yells at me for looking at the cat while he's in his box, but this very same cat regularly barges in on her whenever she uses the bathroom.

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