New Pope?

I saw this joke on IMAO and it just gave me a good chuckle:

How long does the new pope have to be in charge before we can stop calling him "new pope"?

As soon as people stop saying "Classic Pope was better?"

Short Attention Span has a rundown on his pick for Pope, Cardinal Francis Arinze of Nigeria. He makes a good case. He also thinks Arinze race (duh he's black) will be a bigger deal in the US than elsewhere.

I disagree. Compared to most of the world, the US is racial heterogenous and has been for a very long time. Crime is skyrocketing in Europe. This is because those countries are transitioning from European mono-cultures to more American style melting pots due to immigration. Crime rates are just reflecting increasing social tensions. A friend of mine is Czech and taught in Scandinavia for a while, his reaction to the racial issue was "yes the Europeans are very nice open-minded people towards other races as long as you don't try to marry their daughters." To put it bluntly, Europeans are very happy to be around other peoples as long as the other peoples know who is boss.

But I have digressed. Slate ran an article a while back about the front runners to be the next pope. It includes Arinze but also mentions a Hispanic cardinal, a Ukrainian American, and even a Jewish cardinal. Included were these folksey Italian words of wisdom: "Always follow a fat pope with a skinny pope."

John Paul II was very very young when he became pope. He was 58. The cardinals probably picked such a young man because John Paul I died so shortly after becoming Pope. Do not expect the next pope to be so spry. Mid sixties to early seventies is a definite possibility.

It is also quite possible that the new Pope will be Italian because John Paull II wasn't. I hope not, but it is possible. The Italians have had a hammer lock on the Catholic heirarchy all out of proportion to their population. I think a non-Italian pope would continue to globalize the office and that would be a good thing.

UPDATE: Volokh Conspiracy pointed this livejournal out. It has a brief overview of Papal names. We've had two John Pauls now so I'm going to go out on a limb and go with what flows naturally -> George Ringo. Pope George Ringo the First. Or perhaps he'll be George Richard if he wants to be formal. The first person who successfully makes a "bigger than Jesus" joke in the comments gets a gold star.

UPDATE II: There is another old Italian saying about the choosing of a Pope. It goes something like "He who enters the conclave Pope, leaves a Cardinal." So, to quote another great spiritual leader, it ain't over 'til its over.