Monday, January 09, 2006

Finding the Humor in Traffic Tickets

Joe Carter makes discusses his last traffic ticket:
Several weeks ago I was out for a ride and inadvertently ran a stop sign. Though I didn’t see the sign, a cop did see me. He quickly pulled up behind my chopper and signaled for me to pull over.

Now I've been a biker since I old enough to work a kick-stand so getting hassled by the fuzz is nothing new. I also, as you can probably imagine, have quite the outlaw streak in me. So I did what any self-respecting rider would do: opened it up full throttle and tried to make a run for it. I gave it all I had but the cop must have had some super-charged cruiser because he caught up to my moped like I was standing still.
Now how should you go about getting out of a ticket? I used to suggest that you drive like local cops, because cops are unlikely to be such hypocrits that they will ticket someone for driving like they do. This has proven to be wrong.

Instead take it to court. Tell the appropriate sob story about how this ticket will have a disproportionally adverse impact on your job, etc. In short lie like a skunk. Depending on your district, you'll get off.

UPDATE: Oh and some would say "be a good citizen and drive like an old lady" is a way to proactively get out of tickets. I have tried this. It does not work. Perhaps for some people, but not for me.

You see I work on an Army base in Maryland that is full of bored cops. I have accepted the fact that I will be pulled over at least once a year for the rest of my life. I have been pulled over for doing 26 in a 25. My speedometer only shows 2 mph increments. I have been yelled at for not having a front license plate, even though I'm a Delawarean and my state doesn't issue them. I'm sure I will soon be yelled at for driving safely while in the possession of a cell phone.

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